Recently a longtime member of CoDA remarked:
“What a shock when I discovered that the common denominator in all of my dysfunctional relationships . . . was me.” —Bruce S.
MEETING PREAMBLE
The Codependents Anonymous Program of Recovery
We would like to welcome our Charlotte friends and neighbors to the CoDA Charlotte community. As a newcomer you are greeted as the most important person at our meetings. We hope you will find you’re in your right place. We will invite you to pick up a Newcomers’ Packet and you may purchase the CoDA Blue Book and other literature, which should answer many of your questions about CoDA
CoDA guidelines encourage attending at least six meetings as a way to determine CoDA’s relevancy in your life. The various meetings are different and one may be more comfortable for you than another.
Codependents Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women whose common purpose is to develop healthy relationships through the discovery of, and recovery from, habitual codependent behaviors. Such patterns are often a holdover from childhood coping skills, adopted in response to dysfunctional family situations
The only requirement for membership is a desire to overcome these dysfunctional behavioral patterns and, using the tools we are discovering, replace them with healthy choices and attitudes, bringing us true fulfillment in all areas of our lives.
We gather to support and share with each other a journey of self-discovery—learning to love and respect the self. Living the program allows each of us to become increasingly honest with ourselves about our personal histories and our own codependent behaviors.
Here we find a safe place where we may share our experience, strength and hope in our efforts to find freedom where there has been bondage, and peace where there has been turmoil. This renewal process is a gift of healing for us. By actively working the program of Codependents Anonymous, we can each realize a new joy, acceptance, and serenity in our lives.
Most of us have been searching for ways to overcome the conflicts in our relation-ships. Many of us were raised in families where addictions and dysfunctional behaviors existed. Perhaps some were not. In either case, we have found that codependence has become a deeply rooted, compulsive behavior, born out of our sometimes moderately, sometimes extremely dysfunctional family systems. We have learned that “codependence is a disease that deteriorates our soul.”
We have each experienced in our own way the painful trauma of emptiness in our childhood and our relationships throughout our lives. We attempted to use others— our mates, our friends, and even our children as our sole source of identity and value, and as a way of trying to restore within us the emotional losses from our childhoods. Our histories may include other powerful addictions, which at times we have used to cope with our codependence.
We have all learned to survive life, but in CoDA we are learning to live life. Through applying the Twelve Steps and principles of CoDA on a daily basis we can experience a new freedom from our self–defeating lifestyles. It is an individual growth process, each of us growing at our own pace. We will continue to heal as we remain open to God's will for us.
No matter how traumatic our past or despairing our present may seem, there is hope for a new day in the program of Codependents Anonymous. We no longer need to rely on others as a power greater than ourselves. We will find here a new strength within, to be that which God intended—precious and free.
CoDA is an anonymous program. We ask that you respect the privacy of each person in this meeting and that: “Who you see here, what is said here, when you leave here, let it stay here."
Our sharing helps us to free the emotional bonds of our past and the compulsive control of our present. In CoDA we each learn to build a bridge to a Higher Power of our own understanding and we allow others the same privilege.
After a period of sharing our experience, strength, and hope—which often includes newcomers unburdening themselves of emotional issues which may have been tightly stored for many years—we close the meeting with the following statement:
CLOSING STATEMENT
In closing, our desire is for all who have attended to find in this fellowship the hope and friendship we have been privileged to enjoy—and which has helped many of us find new ways of participating in life.
By being willing to modify our own attitudes and behaviors, we find not only our lives, but the lives of those around us begin to change–within families, with friendships, and at work.
The loving exchange of help among members, and the daily study of CoDA and 12-step literature make us ready to receive the priceless gift of serenity.
To those who haven't been with us long: Whatever your problems, there are those among us who have faced them as well. If you learn to keep an open mind you will find help. You will begin to realize that there is no difficult situation nor unhappiness that cannot be reversed, and no deeds that cannot be forgiven.
The welcome we give you is warm and sincere. And it is intended to help you love yourself, as we will grow to love you. The ‘We Care’ book is available for further contact and support, but let there be no gossip nor criticism of one another. Instead, let the understanding, love, and freedom this program offers continue to grow in each of us—one day at a time.
We close our meeting by reading the Twelve Promises of CoDA and by reminding ourselves of the powerful Serenity prayer, and often adjourn to a local restaurant for coffee, etc. and more conversation.
IMPORTANT CHANGES FOR TUESDAY CoDA MEETINGS Posted: July 03, 2009
Starting immediately the Tuesday CoDA meeting held at St. Matthews Catholic Church at Ballantyne (across from Stonecrest) will now be held upstairs in Room 209. Still in the Family Life Center, just a different room location.
ALSO, the new contact phone number is 704-282-5106 (Vernell’s cell).
Until further notice the Twelve Step Meetings on Tuesday will be discontinued.
Please click on SCHEDULES to see the complete meeting list.
CoDA meetings in general don’t take a holiday. Some locations need to make alternate plans if the facility will be closed. Please check with your meeting contact or the CoDA hotline (704-866-9373) for further information if a holiday is involved.
The Coda Council recently held its quarterly meeting. This is an organization comprised of a representative from each of the Charlotte area CoDA meetings. All are invited to attend and give us your input on CoDA activities and bring any questions you might have. The next meeting will be held:
October 15, 2009 at 7:00 p. m.
Providence United Methodist Church
Providence @ Sharon Road
Call 704-866-9373 for more information
Preset activities include:
Sending an informative brochure to therapists and recovery counselors in the area, inviting them to inform their clients of regional CoDA meetings. Please let us know if you have therapists or treatment centers where we can send the brochure.
Scheduling local Speakers Meetings, Twelve Step Workshops and other activities open to all participants in the program and their guests
Planning social activities such as picnics, Thanksgiving and Christmas get-togethers
Maintaining the CoDA website and the Hot Line for meeting information and live help
Establishing new meetings. There is a need for a Spanish-speaking meeting; a Teen CoDA meeting; and a new meeting in the University area.
OPPORTUNITIES FOR SERVICE WORK IN CODA
There are always possibilities for service in CoDA. Our service expresses our gratitude for the life changes we have received from the program. Service blesses both our organization and ourselves.
We are sending a fervent plea to those familiar with websites (or we can train you) for help with codacharlotte.org. Those who are willing to serve please call our hot line¯704-866-9373¯or email us at codacharlotteaol.com
Helping to start meetings in new locations¯University area, Monroe, etc.
Serve on a steering committee to establish a Teen Coda meeting in Charlotte.
Volunteering to help plan social activities
Tell is your CoDA “success stories” for posting on our website. Thee stories will bring those who suffer to our meetings
Please send any feedback to codacharlotte@aol.com.
CoDA HOTLINE CONTACT PHONE NOW HAS LIVE HELP Posted: November 28, 2008
The existing CoDA Hotline, as it has been for the past few years, is getting a new life¯and a new phone number. Effective immediately, Kathleen B has volunteered to provide “live” answering services, enabling the caller to get an actual person to provide meeting information and answer CODA questions. What a concept -- a real talking person!
The new phone number is 704-866-9373 for anyone seeking CoDA information.
Please contact Kathleen with ANY information about meeting changes or 12-step changes at your meetings -- time, day, location or the contact person and phone number to get directions. Leave a message and your call will be returned promptly. (Please speak slowly and distinctly.)
Information may also be provided by e-mailing our website at;
codacharlotte@aol.com.
This way we can continue to provide accurate information about our CoDA community to those who are looking for healing.
ANNOUNCING THREE NEW 12-STEP GROUPS Posted: July 05, 2008
ThreeCharlotte CoDA meetings have formed 12-step workshops prior to their regular CoDA meeting:
Monday night at 6 pm at Serenity Church prior to the 7 pm meeting.
Tuesday night at 6 pm, prior to the 7 pm meeting.
Sunday night at 5:30 pm prior to the 7 pm meeting.
ll are invited and the meetings are flexible as to when you start and when you attend. (However, these meetings result in the highest benefit when a consistent commitment is made to do the work.
The Sunday meting is using Melody Beattie’s “Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps” as a workbook, with Joe and Charlie CDs for the fourth step.
The Monday and Tuesday night groups are using the new CoDA workbook on the ”Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions”
The Wednesday and Friday groups regularly work on one of the steps once a month at their regular meetings. Click on our SCHEDULE button for times, locations, and driving instructions -- and if you want more information, call the contact name listed.
Remember:
“Keep coming back;
It works if you work it.
It won’t if you don’t.
So work it ‘cause you’re WORTH it!”
FRIDAY SPEAKERS MEETING CDs ARE AVAILABLE Posted: August 31, 2007
“Living the Twelve Steps in Relationship” is available for a “love offering” at Charlotte CoDA meetings. If a CD is not available at the meeting you attend, please click on the “Comment” link below and let us know which meeting you will attend. The speakers are Starla and Jimmy D. of Los Angeles, who have been in CoDA for ten+ years, and use the 12 steps daily in their marriage. They spoke to us on June 1, 2007. Comments
